Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Randomize
