great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
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