Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony