So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize
