She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements