Texts From Last Night

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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast

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  (615): Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast http://tfl.nu/lexd
  Replies (12) Good night (777) Bad night (2014)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.

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  (847): chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc. http://tfl.nu/4h93
  Replies (11) Good night (2059) Bad night (766)
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.

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  (701): I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers. http://tfl.nu/q78w
  Replies (9) Good night (3541) Bad night (690)
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  (231): View more from Michigan

  OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?

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  (231): OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend? http://tfl.nu/ma89
  Replies (80) Good night (2415) Bad night (15522)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?

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  (206): How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it? http://tfl.nu/31c7
  Replies (23) Good night (3003) Bad night (1809)
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  (985): View more from Louisiana

  My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.

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  (985): My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day. http://tfl.nu/xzll
  Replies (26) Good night (5213) Bad night (2404)
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?

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  (701): Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it? http://tfl.nu/2zni
  Replies (9) Good night (2754) Bad night (1179)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.

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  (917): He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat. http://tfl.nu/cst7
  Replies (6) Good night (1468) Bad night (598)
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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table

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  (778): nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table http://tfl.nu/3lt3
  Replies (8) Good night (1770) Bad night (1318)
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  What can I say, I'm a giver.

  (1-608): View more from Wisconsin

  Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.

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  (608): What can I say, I'm a giver. (1-608): Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian. http://tfl.nu/c94l
  Replies (11) Good night (2042) Bad night (669)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.

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  (843): AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME. http://tfl.nu/mm0e
  Replies (11) Good night (570) Bad night (1220)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Cops are just so fun an beautifuk

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  (303): Cops are just so fun an beautifuk http://tfl.nu/p8be
  Replies (2) Good night (738) Bad night (489)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here

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  (740): She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here http://tfl.nu/x0jk
  Replies (4) Good night (396) Bad night (766)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese

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  (503): I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese http://tfl.nu/zq39
  Replies (1) Good night (409) Bad night (493)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.

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  (413): I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college. http://tfl.nu/4oip
  Replies (4) Good night (669) Bad night (270)

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