how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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