It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Randomize
