let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Randomize
