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His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake

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Hmmm...what the fuck would Jesus do in this situation?

Submitted by wtfwjd on Jul 21, 10 at 10:32am

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- the only time that you gain the approval of us... enjoy it
  
  Submitted by Moser on Jul 22, 10 at 3:21am
  
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WOMAN, JESUS DOES NOT NEED TO USE HIS HAND TO BRING YOU TO CLIMAX

Submitted by TheOctopus on Jul 21, 10 at 12:37pm

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The things fat chicks say...never fail to amaze me

Submitted by Slappy0605 on Jul 21, 10 at 10:27am

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- everyone loves birthday cake.
  
  Submitted by anonymous8906 on Jul 21, 10 at 12:57pm
  
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Wow..come on have some respect.

Submitted by hroach on Jul 21, 10 at 10:19am

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I think we can all agree that E.T. has dibs on being the Finger Master, that shit glows AND it's 14 inches.

Submitted by klangford on Jul 21, 10 at 1:02pm

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- how would glowing make it any more pleasurable? if i wanted that, i'd use a flashlight.
  
  Submitted by meghannnn on Jul 21, 10 at 1:32pm
  
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  - that comment made my day.
    
    Submitted by ieleyouveesecs33 on Jul 22, 10 at 2:03am
    
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Uhm, that scenario sounds TERRIBLE.

Submitted by IfSheSpinsFast on Jul 21, 10 at 10:12am

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...and if it wasn't for my horse, I wouldn't have spent that year in college...

Submitted by smartgrrl2 on Jul 21, 10 at 2:39pm

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- Lewis!! <3
  
  Submitted by no5_is_alive on Jul 21, 10 at 3:35pm
  
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Wife material for sure.

Submitted by SillyShit19 on Jul 21, 10 at 1:26pm

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Shame on u for having impure thoughts of our lord

Submitted by shame_on_u on Jul 22, 10 at 2:53am

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That's so wrong!

Submitted by LilOne on Jul 21, 10 at 3:45pm

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Your going to hell, don't talk about God like thy

Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 22, 10 at 3:16am

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U're sick. Don't write things like that using the name of the Lord.

Submitted by superstardeke1 on Jul 22, 10 at 12:31pm

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- heh heh heh..."Lord"
  
  Submitted by CommitedSavage on Jul 22, 10 at 2:57pm
  
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Why would you even say that it doesn't even sound appealing

Submitted by karla on Jul 21, 10 at 4:24pm

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Why do people assume Jesus would have good fingering skills? Just because he's the son of God doesn't mean he's a casanova.

Submitted by meghannnn on Jul 21, 10 at 12:02pm

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- umm...carpenter hands.
  
  Submitted by anonymous8906 on Jul 21, 10 at 12:59pm
  
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  - yeah but they're holey now not holy, and i am quite sure there is nerve damage.
    
    Submitted by nattybuck on Jul 21, 10 at 5:26pm
    
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This is tacky as fuck!

Submitted by bowfishinlady on Jul 21, 10 at 12:28pm

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.....

Submitted by dirtyfirsty on Jul 21, 10 at 10:04am

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@wtfwjd... I thought we already knew what he was doing...

Submitted by cbtango on Jul 22, 10 at 4:58am

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That's just fucked up. Leave Jesus out of your obesity.

Submitted by Bomb on Jul 21, 10 at 6:05pm

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I need a girl like this.

Submitted by Creeperstar on Jul 21, 10 at 10:54am

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fat people are stupid

Submitted by im_twelve on Jul 22, 10 at 3:57pm

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Wooooowww!!! He must b freakin amazing!!!!

Submitted by ElementBabe on Jul 21, 10 at 10:31am

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Just FYI, Jesus has a dirty beard, didn't wear deodorant, and didn't bathe.\nRule 423: Fucking dirty people is gross....

Submitted by TheNewRule on Oct 9, 10 at 1:17pm

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Akward......

Submitted by APromiseToBurn on Jul 21, 10 at 1:08pm

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Peyton Manning had sex with a dolphin

Submitted by peytonmanning on Jul 22, 10 at 2:11am

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She sounds fat.

Submitted by jaytkabb on Jul 21, 10 at 12:11pm

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great imagery. O.o

Submitted by ieleyouveesecs33 on Jul 22, 10 at 2:02am

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so your fat but you like skinny guys

Submitted by Premeau on Jul 22, 10 at 1:49pm

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lord lord lord lord lord jeses jeses jeses jeses

Submitted by im_twelve on Jul 22, 10 at 3:59pm

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So just because she said birthday cake she's fat? Morons. I would love to fuck Jesus.

Submitted by HaleyPie on Jul 23, 10 at 1:14am

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- Agreed.
  
  Submitted by minx1005 on Jul 27, 10 at 11:15pm
  
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Jesus is fake, so he couldn't finger you.

Submitted by Dsapeer on Jul 19, 12 at 10:50pm

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Spoiler alert: Dumbledore dies.

Submitted by Dumbledore_Died on Jul 21, 10 at 2:47pm

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I love you firsty. Marry me?

Submitted by shelbels8 on Jul 21, 10 at 10:08am

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- asl? :P
  
  Submitted by firsty on Jul 21, 10 at 12:55pm
  
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i want birthday cake now

Submitted by Anonymous1024 on Jul 22, 10 at 4:47pm

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Yummy birthday cake

Submitted by im_twelve on Jul 22, 10 at 4:34am

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Fuck yessss

Submitted by pvgurl16 on Jul 21, 10 at 10:04am

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These pretzels are making me firsty

Submitted by Rosamondmoonpie on Jul 21, 10 at 10:11am

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(443): View more from Maryland

Comments

Submitted by wtfwjd on Jul 21, 10 at 10:32am

Submitted by Moser on Jul 22, 10 at 3:21am

Submitted by TheOctopus on Jul 21, 10 at 12:37pm

Submitted by Slappy0605 on Jul 21, 10 at 10:27am

Submitted by anonymous8906 on Jul 21, 10 at 12:57pm

Submitted by hroach on Jul 21, 10 at 10:19am

Submitted by klangford on Jul 21, 10 at 1:02pm

Submitted by meghannnn on Jul 21, 10 at 1:32pm

Submitted by ieleyouveesecs33 on Jul 22, 10 at 2:03am

Submitted by IfSheSpinsFast on Jul 21, 10 at 10:12am

Submitted by smartgrrl2 on Jul 21, 10 at 2:39pm

Submitted by no5_is_alive on Jul 21, 10 at 3:35pm

Submitted by SillyShit19 on Jul 21, 10 at 1:26pm

Submitted by shame_on_u on Jul 22, 10 at 2:53am

Submitted by LilOne on Jul 21, 10 at 3:45pm

Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 22, 10 at 3:16am

Submitted by superstardeke1 on Jul 22, 10 at 12:31pm

Submitted by CommitedSavage on Jul 22, 10 at 2:57pm

Submitted by karla on Jul 21, 10 at 4:24pm

Submitted by meghannnn on Jul 21, 10 at 12:02pm

Submitted by anonymous8906 on Jul 21, 10 at 12:59pm

Submitted by nattybuck on Jul 21, 10 at 5:26pm

Submitted by bowfishinlady on Jul 21, 10 at 12:28pm

Submitted by dirtyfirsty on Jul 21, 10 at 10:04am

Submitted by cbtango on Jul 22, 10 at 4:58am

Submitted by Bomb on Jul 21, 10 at 6:05pm

Submitted by Creeperstar on Jul 21, 10 at 10:54am

Submitted by im_twelve on Jul 22, 10 at 3:57pm

Submitted by ElementBabe on Jul 21, 10 at 10:31am

Submitted by TheNewRule on Oct 9, 10 at 1:17pm

Submitted by APromiseToBurn on Jul 21, 10 at 1:08pm

Submitted by peytonmanning on Jul 22, 10 at 2:11am

Submitted by jaytkabb on Jul 21, 10 at 12:11pm

Submitted by ieleyouveesecs33 on Jul 22, 10 at 2:02am

Submitted by Premeau on Jul 22, 10 at 1:49pm

Submitted by im_twelve on Jul 22, 10 at 3:59pm

Submitted by HaleyPie on Jul 23, 10 at 1:14am

Submitted by minx1005 on Jul 27, 10 at 11:15pm

Submitted by Dsapeer on Jul 19, 12 at 10:50pm

Submitted by Dumbledore_Died on Jul 21, 10 at 2:47pm

Submitted by shelbels8 on Jul 21, 10 at 10:08am

Submitted by firsty on Jul 21, 10 at 12:55pm

Submitted by Anonymous1024 on Jul 22, 10 at 4:47pm

Submitted by im_twelve on Jul 22, 10 at 4:34am

Submitted by pvgurl16 on Jul 21, 10 at 10:04am

Submitted by Rosamondmoonpie on Jul 21, 10 at 10:11am