i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
This is the high leading the old right now
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
