i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
