Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
