my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Found the puke drawer
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
