Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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