I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Randomize
