You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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