Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Randomize
