Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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