I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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