Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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