I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
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