i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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