Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
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