what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
