What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
