Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
