The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
