before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Randomize
