I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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