Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
everyone is single if you try hard enough
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize
