I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Send us your Text From Last Night!
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
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