Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
