So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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