direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
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