so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Randomize
