I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Randomize
