Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
