why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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