Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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