they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
