I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
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