I'm gonna have a badass scar
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
