I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
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