I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
