its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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