Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
