I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
