My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
