I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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