Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I just cut my nipple shaving
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Randomize
