Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
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