well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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