Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
