Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
