How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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