Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
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