Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize