Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
