Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Randomize
