He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
