My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
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