Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Too much gin, very little bucket
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
she peed on how many people?
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
