i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize