3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
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