I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
Randomize
